queer vegan adventures – Page 4 – queer vegan adventures

just another day to give a shit

April 27, 2018Tagged adventure, adventures, backpacking, biking, climate, climate change, colorado, earth day, hiking, meditation, oregon, queer, queer vegan adventures, relationships, veganLeave a comment

i’m not really a fan of days that take one day to celebrate what we should probably be celebrating every day…like earthy day, mother’s day, valentine’s day….all these are things we should be caring for and nurturing every day, and as i say that today is earth day and it gives me a reason to piece together some thoughts i’ve had about the earth and climate change, our roles and responsibilities and just thoughts from readings and events i’ve gone to.

i don’t think there is any one way to address climate action except the one you can most relate to. so here in colorado ski country, there is a group called pow (protect our winters). its made up of winter sports athletes and lovers of all things snow. pow came to my little mt town a couple weeks ago with two local siblings that are also olympians. i’ve never really gotten into the pow group, but I went to the event because how can i critique if i don’t participate?

maybe i should back up just a little bit. i experienced many indications of climate change this past year from snow levels and gorging streams to high temperatures and wildfires and rising sea levels (literally watching the ocean crash onto the shores that are underneath houses in malibu and billions of acres (essentially a whole mountain) that slide into the ocean. and before I left portland, I went to a place called valley of the giants. it is an amazing old growth forest between the oregon coast and salem. to get there one has to drive, following very exact directions, through clearcuts. it was heartbreaking enough to go through this on the way in, even worse on the way out…i should probably do a separate post on this adventure.

so when i landed in a town where i could join a library and check out some books, i got “the global warming reader” edited by bill mckibbens and “how bad are bananas: the carbon footprint of everything”. i also ordered, “drawdown: the most comprehensive plan ever proposed to reverse global warming” edited by paul hawken. i’ve also picked up other books and articles by indigenous youth and groups. p.s. the indigenous actions, words, songs, and dance is where i find the most inspiration, but hard to put into words. they conger up more feeling and sense of integrated responsibility…the way life should be.

so anyway, in “the reader” is a piece by yan jones and ariane conrad from “green colar economy” and in this section they talk about having “fewer targets and more partners” from the assumption of activist that change requires a big battle with someone when we could be actually turning those supposed targets into long-term partners for change…moving beyond assumptions and stereotypes which requires investing in relationship and trust building.

“Here’s the truth. If you rush into a situation looking for enemies, you will find plenty. At the same time, if you go into a situation trying to find friends and allies, you will almost always find at least one.”

Another quote is “less accusations and more confession…some of the enemies we need to defeat are inside us.”

Participation in an economy that lacks equity and we each have an understandable aversion to giving up our own money or status…so every day, we end up feeding the very monster we are fighting. “If we confess our own struggles to realign our own lives and change our own behavior, we may seem less alien to those we are trying to convince.”

another saying they have that i cling to is, “The cleanest energy is the energy we never have to use.”

that deserves repeating “the cleanest energy is the energy we never have to use.”

with all this im mind, i tried to go into this gathering/presentation with these thoughts in mind. but i just find myself getting frustrated with the whole change your lightbulbs and carry a water bottle kind of argument. sure those are important changes, but it seems like we, as proponents of change are afraid of offending people. and i get it. i am afraid of alienating people that i want to share what i’ve learned and learn from them. i don’t want to shut them out of a conversation that i want to grow and co-create with others’ and so much of that has to do with consumption which is somehow deeply linked to patriotism. most vegans from the mid-west can relate, as much of the economy is based in big animal agriculture. the other side of the same coin is upsetting people in their long-term deeply held beliefs in their entitlement to consume what they want when they want, from new iPhones to a bloody steak or asparagus in January, or vegans and palm oil obsession. but how are we going to change anything if we are unwilling to become uncomfortable? addressing all these issues is uncomfortable for all of us as we dig deeper and uncover and unlearn. so to say i was highly disappointed in the presentation is true. i don’t know what i want to be told, but we can do better than the gentle “call your legislators.” as if that is where deep change truly happens.

one of the most recent events i went to at the library was a film on wendall berry and his farming experience in kentucky. it is a nice film pitting the small family farmer and big ag (and our government) against one another, and this is indeed what happened when the secretary of agriculture decided that profits needed to be a big portion of the countries farming status. it turned farming upside-down. it killed small farms and small farm towns. it paved the way for mega-corporations from Walmart to General Mills to dictate what and how farmers should farm.(and what we get to eat). it took away centuries of practices that made farming an art form that could sustain a family to monocrops that destroy so many systems. the film ended with one family farmer getting tired of making Phillip Morris more money while his family went deeper into debt (that area of the country including berry’s farm was mostly tobacco) and he did some research and put a call out into the local paper asking if he, as a farmer, would find any support if he switched to an organic produce farm…overwhelming support ended up in creating an early version of a csa. a few years later one of his members gave him a book by wendall that affirmed what he wanted to do with farming.

what am I getting at?

we don’t have to become radical activists to find our way in reversing climate change. we just need to find the thing in nature that drives our passions: snow peaked mountains? the deep blue ocean? fresh foods that nourish our bodies and feed our spirit? access to clean water and fresh air? the ability to move our bodies and minds? a deep love for the land, newly found or ancestral? love of animals and living a life of compassion and empathy for all who share this earth. sharing a good meal and craft beverages with our friends new and old…and find out what we can do to support those parts of nature as well as what we are doing that is causing harm to those systems.

some interesting info from the carbon book….books are better then e-readers and if you go to the library or get used books…even better…according to the book on the carbon footprint of everything.

a bike commute fueled by a cheeseburger is the same as driving, but a vegan fueled bike ride makes a difference…but I guess if you are going to eat a cheeseburger and your choice is go by hummer or bike, a bike is better, but really we need to look at bigger pictures and systems. its all about the options you are faced with on the regular that we need to examine. those good old fashion if / then statements.

if you have questions about what how things will truly make a difference, i highly recommend the drawdown book. i initially read it on my ipod as an ebook from the library when i was in ashland, but I felt like i was missing something reading it this way because it is also a beautiful book! the pictures are amazing. the data is so detailed and each proposed solution has its ranking in its effect in reversing global warming, it also has how many gigaton of CO2 will be reduced, but includes the cost and net savings. top 10 solutions: item, the sector it is in, reduction in CO2 emissions, cost, savings

1. refrigeration, materials, reduction of 89.74 gt, cost n/a, savings -$902.77 billion

2. wind turbines (onshore) energy, 84.60 gt, $1,225.36 bill, savings $7,425 billions

3 reduced food waste food, 70.53 gt, cost n/a, savings n/a

4. plant-rich diet, food, 66.11 gt, cost n/a, savings n/a

5 tropical forests, land use, 61.23 gt, cost n/a, savings n/a

6. educating girls, women and girls, 59.6 gt, cost n/a, savings n/a

7. family planning, women and girls, 59.60 gt, cost and savings n/a

8. solar farms, energy, 36.9 gt, -$80. 6 billion cost, savings $5,023.84 savings

9. silvopasture food 31.19 gt, $41.59 billion, $699.27 savings

10. rooftop solar energy, 24.6 gt, $453.14 billion, $3457.63 billion savings

all this is to say, i don’t need pow or any other organization to tell me what i need to do to stop inflicting pain on the planet. i only need to look at my own behaviors and contributions and choices on the regular. i will keep educating myself on how to further reduce my levels of consumption, to build skills and relationships to keep from having to buy new unless necessary (like toothbrushes). to slow down my life to re-examine all the assumptions i’m told about what is wealth and what is abundance and success. and i do truly believe that to live a life in the present and to be fully present in those moments is what it means to be deeply alive and to be free. and that is a life of adventure.

a year ago

April 16, 2018Tagged adventure, adventures, ashland, backpacking, biking, california, climate, climate change, colorado, eclipse, gear, hiking, meditation, midlife crisis, ocean, oregon, queer, queer vegan adventures, relationships, san diego, seaside, swimming, vegan, walking2 Comments

wow! has it really been a year since i, literally, walked away from my life in portland? it seems like i’ve lived a couple lives since then. i’m going to try and summarize what i’ve gone through and where i think i have set my compass bearings…but who am i kidding, i carry a compass, but use the direction the wind takes me more than my compass.

so a year ago i was getting soaked through and through on the oregon coast trail. a trail i don’t really recommend doing in its entirety. sure it has some of the most amazing views on the pacific coast. however…there is so much road walking, which sure shuttles can take you around, so it’s not too bad. if you are wanting to do it, do it for sure, but do it in the full-on summer time. let the spring storms pass. have a way to know the tides. be prepared for sandblasting your skin (and tent in the middle of the night), and being amazed at every moment you remember to look up and pay attention.

when i got to the oregon/cali border, i ran out of walking ideas. well, i had ideas, but water levels and snow levels were beyond my skill set. years and years of low winter snow levels meant that a “normal” year felt high. maybe this is why so many people the past several years have taken on the pct. if one was willing to push beyond some levels of pain and discomfort, mostly mental, one could persevere without a huge skill set, but not this year.

so i did what i do when i don’t know what else to do, i got a job. i went inland to explore a town and area i had never been to. i sat at the chetco brewery and booked a shuttle to ashland, lived at a hostel while i looked both for a place to live and a place to work. (p.s. this is actually pretty common. when i i stayed in any hostel from slo (san luise obispo) to tijuana, there were people living at the hostel looking for housing.) i quickly found both and settled in. my pals would come into town and take me out for swimming adventures at rivers and lakes. we went to experience the eclipse. i had a wonderful summer.

my mom came out to visit. and then we visited my grandpa’s sister and i loaded up a bike and headed south once again. i have to say, this lady, ellen, is a spark. her and my grandfather were best pals. i can remember her and her husband carl visiting when i was a kid. in my child’s memory i don’t remember what muscular disease he had, i just remember her pushing him around in a big wheelchair. i remember whatever was happening, she pushed him, she smiled, she laughed like there was no issue, no problem, no inconvenience. it was just what was. she still lives in the house that she raised her kids in. she lives alone. she knows her neighbors and they assist her with whatever she asks for. she….she…well she amazes me. not with the grand and great actions, but like my grandparents, the simple enjoyments of everyday life.

at some point in the evening, she turned to me and said,

i remember once when i was visiting your grandfather, we went to your work and you made me a fantastic margarita.

yes, i remember too. it was fun.

would you make us a round?

i’d love to.

so we had “happy hour”

then she told us stories of dancing at the hall, of being a dance instructor, of love, of family….93 years of living (i think it’s 93 maybe it’s 87 it doesn’t matter really). we had moved to the enclosed patio so that i could sort and separate gear for my transition from walking to biking, but at some point, i stopped so that i could sit and listen to her. it just seemed so important to listen. to capture this moment somewhere in my body and mind. to absorb her words. i don’t remember them, but i can feel them, and it is a feeling i continue to move with. maybe in a selfish way, it was like having my grandparents with me in space and time again for a moment, and i wasn’t going to sort packages of ramen and t-shirts and forgo this moment.

that first day i didn’t get far. maybe 15, 20 miles. i needed some time to switch gears.

when my mom dropped me off at some empty parking lot that i pick as fine, and i was loaded up and she pulled out and i pulled out, i road to the beach and just kind of what the fucked for a moment. really, what am i doing? i could have stayed at that job, probably found a place i could afford to live. i could have gone back to portland or kansas… eventually, i calmed down, got my bearings and pointed the bike south and started cranking on the pedals.

i got through santa cruz and found a campground with a hiker-biker site, set up camp and watched the sunset. in the morning i chatted with some fellow bike tour folks, and the pace was set. this is what i wanted. to travel by my own power. to see…what? everything, whatever came my way. to stop and chat with people. to see the world outside of the bubble i had been living in for the past 10 years. i would say i have been successful so far.

i have met people from all over: from homeless to the very wealthy and lots of people who gave up the grind for the love of life (especially the “homeless” living in the parks). i met the owner of a brewery (who opened his doors for me to have a cold one on a hot day) who told me about the ridiculous codes he had to deal with. the couple who worked in l.a. in various projects for alternative transportation. my friends who opened their doors to me so many times as i passed through the big cities. and the wonderful folks i met in mexico. and so many people looking for something besides the prescribes socially acceptable life choices.

the ocean as a companion just cannot be underestimated. she is wonderful. and all those who call her home: the sea otters, lions, gulls, crustaceans, birds of all kinds. the trees and plants of the shorelines that changed the scents and quality of the air i was breathing.

the landslides and wildfires that affected where and how i passed through. these are the events that shifted and changed the way i see climate change. it was a year where i not just knew climate change through numbers, statistics, lectures, and subtle shifts. this year i felt it even more than ever. and not in just that yes, the climate is changing as a part of natural evolutional shifts and changes, but as a force humans are changing faster than nature can keep up with.

and not just that we are unbalancing the balance of nature, but that nature will restore her balance even if it means the demise of the human species. this planet is not as fragile as people seem to poetically like to consider her. maybe it is because we view nature as feminine and we like females to be fragile. however, any being who brings forth life, cannot be fragile. she is strong and she will fight for life, the life she has created. if we don’t drastically shift and change our individual lives, we are the ones who will die…currently, it is something like 600,000 people a year die from climate-related deaths-at least i believe that is close to the number i read recently.

this journey so far has opened up my life in ways i could never imagine. it has helped me realize the vision of my life as a kind of loner and rebel that i have always felt that i am. i’m so thankful for my pals and family in all its shapes and sizes so that i don’t have to be a true loner and who celebrate and inspire my kind of rebellion…so far. i couldn’t be me without them.

so i sit here in a small moutain town in colorado setting a foundation for this vision. a vision that doesn’t see me really attatched to any specific place except for this planet and where i am resting my head for the time being, but more attatched to the people who’s path i cross in the process. i am also taking more of an interest in the health of this big blue rock that, no matter that science fiction finds other planets for us to inhabit, is our only home.

so yup, this year has pushed and stretched me. it has afirmed that i made the right choice. it has caused me to question my life choices and ethics that have only reaffirmed them and made them stronger. i’ve listened to so many people’s stories that only makes me want to hear more.

i have renewed respect for humanity and disgust for capitalism. i truly believe that capitalism is the root of so much disharmony and disease in the northern hemisphere. the root cause for increasing use of opiates and anti-depression drugs in n. america.

i have renewed faith in local communities. in fact, i believe that it is the direct actions and how local communities respond to the various crisis where we will find solutions. i don’t mean in large city councils and such, but eventually maybe. i mean in our neighborhoods. in conversation with our neighbors…who were once strangers. getting to know that person who picks up the bottles we leave out for others to take for their deposits…their income. going for walks with people. know the trees and birds who come through the alleyways. do you have birds and bees in the gardens? what do your neighbors grow? cook? have tea on the front porch.

so what is my vision?

well. i plan on staying in this little mountain town for a year to save money and work on that foundation i was talking about. i want to find my voice as a writer and figure out how to use it for good. to face my fears that keep me from stretching and pushing myself and risk failure on all levels. and then i want to point the bike in a direction and see where it takes me. to visit my friends, some of which i haven’t met yet, but deeply looking forward to meeting.

Celebration aka how the f#@k did I turn 50

February 6, 2018February 6, 2018Tagged adventure, adventures, backpacking, bike, biking, climate, climate change, colorado, gender, hiking, holyshitim50, hot springs, midlife crisis, music, ocean, oregon, queer, queer vegan adventures, relationships, running, vegan, walkingLeave a comment

Not only how the fuck did I turn 50? Seems odd that I made it through some situations that maybe I shouldn’t have.

To be honest, I’ve been thinking about this since I decided to leave portland last spring. I hoped to be out on the trail or at least in a tent in Mexico somewhere when this time was marked. But things shifted and changed. And then I was looking forward to being with friends and family on this occasion, but that plan also took a different turn. So here I was in a little mountain town.

I actually worked the day of my birth. No big deal really. Work a bit (that is why I am here) then off the next couple of days to celebrate and go a little nutty in planning and reflection. My co-workers welcomed me to work with a rousing mixed language version of happy birthday and a bottle of whiskey…these are some great folks. I was doing great.

Then I got off work

I decided to treat myself to dinner and a beverage and was going to head home. At a beverage station, I sat down to write and it hit me, when I wake up in the morning, I will be 50 fucking years old. Not that old to some, really old to others, just another day to most. I’ve never freaked out over a birthday before and didn’t really know how to do it so I just rode it out. My decision was to not go to sleep…then I won’t wake up and then I won’t be 50. I was very rational about the whole thing.

I wasn’t ready

Not yet

But

I’m not really open to the alternative

Not yet

I was headed to one of my usual hop-water spots, but at the last minute I went up the stairs instead of down and found a new place where I wouldn’t know someone…yet

The bartender asked what I was having.

When I wake up I turn 50 what should I have tonight

A local whiskey its on me. Happy birthday

Soon I was chatting it up with the band that was about to play: guitar, bass, banjo (mountain music)

And I headed home

I did sleep

I did wake

Everything was a o k

Mostly

I had things I needed to get done that day before I could get into celebration mode, but first, breakfast….remember those vegan rancheros I had a few weeks ago? Yup, I went back for more.

Soon I was caffeinated and fed and the day just took off. And I was into the swing of things.

Then I would get a text

Or a call

Or an email

All fantastic and loving and amazing

Meanwhile, I just kept trying to work out what this all means.

Nothing really. It all means nothing

Not in that nihilistic way of nothing, but really

I have been fortunate enough to “hike my own hike”

I have danced to my own songs in my head/feet in my own way. (I like to think emma would be proud)

Every day since I drove the hell out of that town I grew up in. Each day since has been a lesson in how to do that. And how have I been inspired to do that? People. Strangers. Friends….

ART. Art has inspired me.

Music

Photography

Writers: journalism, fiction, non-fiction, the uncategorizable

This song helped me understand myself (thank goodness it came out while i was still in my 20s)

Anyway, back to the celebration, celebration

It took me to the next day to go out and actually celebrate.

I made a great breakfast and started the day slow and easy

I went to the hot springs that bubble up in the middle of town and had a nice soak and some good chats

Went to get a snack and some beverages

And the people I’ve gotten to casually know at my favorite spots bought my drinks as I told them I was celebrating my day. I had so many lovely conversations with so many great people

So here is what I have learned about myself in the last year…last year I spent my day with my great pals…pals who are like brothers to me

I was having a tough time trying to deal with so much from the co-op I worked at and making plans to take off to the unknown

Trying to make sense of it all. I really couldn’t have done it without them and all the pals that inspire and instigated with me (p.s. if I know you, you are one of them)

I actually did it

I took off

I set myself free from all of it

Well actually I traded one kind of stress for another

Stressors I couldn’t and can’t understand for ones I can

Makes one hell of a difference

It’s a journey that I hope does not end anytime soon

I don’t know what is ahead, but I relish the mystery

I yearn for the mystery

What and who is around the corner? I look forward to finding out

I am 50 years old

If my genes tell me anything, I am likely to live much longer depending on speeding trucks and texting drivers and rising seas and burning lands and toxic air and nuclear button pushing nut heads

I don’t want to settle down

But I do like going slower and looking and listening and smelling and tasting and touching and feeling

A reminder that home, for me, is a verb: a place in motion and I am just trying to not fall off

and the mountains came a callin’

January 13, 2018Tagged adventures, biking, climate, climate change, colorado, queer, queer vegan adventures, relationships, vegan, walking, winter work = summer play, women who adventure3 Comments

there i was

in wichita

again

excited to spend the winter with friends and family and friends who are family.

i looked for work, i looked everywhere. i even looked into returning to food service and bartending. was actually a little excited by the idea of bartending again, but not food service. it is fucking hard, no joking around. and it is possibly, at times, the most demeaning job i have ever had. [so side note, tip = to insure promptness aka tip first service is according to tip not the other way around]. the bummer of it all is, i like to provide an atmosphere for folks to have a great social outing, but my income should not be determined but your mood. bartenders tend to get a little more “respect” socially but probably because it is seen as a male-dominated field. i could go on and on about this and i probably will one day, but not this day.

anyway, the jobs that i was able to find in wichita were low paying with limited available hours. not a great way to save for the next phase of the adventure. so one day i was searching for a possible active adventure summer job, and found a resort hiring in one of my favorite towns in colorado. so on a whim, i applied and got hired within the week….so much faster than anything i was experiencing in wichita.

so, soon i was headed to the bus station to denver, overnight in a hostel around the corner, and another bus to my new location.

i should linger a bit on the hipster hostel in denver. i really liked it, and most likely will stay there again if i need a city getaway…hey its possible. hostel fish is a converted brothel downtown. it is just a couple blocks from the greyhound station. downstairs there is a restaurant and bar, upstairs it hosts its own bar alongside the community kitchen. across the street is a fine brewery that often has a food cart next to it. both the brewery and the food cart are overpriced. however, this is all just a block or so away from a main street full of options from slices of pizza (advertising vegan slices) with live music to an irish pub. so i had one beer at the brewery post long fucking bus ride, grabbed a couple of slices, listened to some music, and night-capped it at the hostel.

at first the bartender at the hostel was kind of an ass to me, but then i mentioned something about the music he was playing, he was playing chastity belt, and he lit up! finally i found a venue to get past his fascade. he is a budding singer/songwriter who hosts an open mike there at the hostel. so we were able to chat about music and small stages and such.

i was so excited about my new adventure that i couldn’t sleep, so i took another shower, the first was to get the grime of bus travel off me, (i like bus and train travel, but that last leg between pueblo and denver was extra grimmy for lots and lots of reasons). so my second shower was to relax my mind and muscles. i settled in to a meditation and finally slept…and dreamed so many dreams.

for the last month, my dreams have been full to overflowing of symbolism and metaphors. my snake dreams have returned, but have shifted. in one dream i sliced an amazingly wide snake, like so wide and dense it was similar in size to a tree trunk, the kind of trees you find in the pacific northwest….freaking wide! and i just sliced it so cleanly so smoothly with some sword…i could see its internal rings and workings…i can still see it, like right now while i reflect on it.

the next snake dream was more intense. i was wrestling or something with two snakes who were more rattlesnake/viper like. i finally got a grasp of them both, one in each hand, close to their heads. yet, not close enough to keep them from biting my hands in that special place between the thumb and index finger…that place used so much in chinese medicine. i was finally able to strangle them.

but this night, the dreams were of people i have intimately loved in the past. people i haven’t seen in years. each one i stayed friends with after the break-up, but our paths have taken us in different directions and we don’t cross paths much anymore. a facebook like or instagram check-in, maybe a random text message, but otherwise we have drifted in the sea of former loves. the dreams this night were so vivid. i could smell each person’s unique scent again, and remember all the curves and scars that told their stories, the tastes and textures…i awoke warm and happy and thankful for each one of those amazing people who have graced my life. as i venture to a town where i know no one at all. where i will be doing work i have never done before, for i don’t know how long, with so many unknowns… the reminder of being loved by people i never expected to have loved me in the first place, was a most excellent send off.

and that, my friends is how i ended up in this little mountain town. population roughly 12,000. elevation in the valley is 6700’+. there are hot springs all around, and the people are so nice. i work as a housekeeper for a property management/vacation resort company. i am the only white person who is not a manager. my coworkers are from mexico, ecuador, jamaica, haiti… i make nearly double what any job was offering in wichita, and more than what most jobs offered in portland when i left. and i am in a small mountain town. one of the few that is actually having snow right now. and i cannot believe how happy i am.

everyday i wake up, look out the window and smile. the view is always spectacular. one super cold morning i woke up (i live up on the mountain with a slight view of the valley) and as i gazed from ridgeline to ridgeline, the central valley was full of fog. it looked like a snow cover lake filled the valley. other days the snow and super blue sky, the aspen trees, the warmth of the cold…it fills me in ways i cannot describe.

reminder that changes happen on the edges

meanwhile, i’ve been reading books like half a yellow sun and you don’t have to say you love me. to say they have had an effect on me is to say the sun is warm. i have been moved and changed by these books. i am having so many thoughts these days about how we treat one another. about the ideas we believe just because it has been passed down to us. what is it that creates so much passive hatred that we think is benign because we think it is just true? these are the things that grow systemic racism, bigots, and trumps. we can do better. we are known to do better. it is why our best sides can come out in times of crisis. we want to be empathetic, but our fear, our ignorance, our inability to listen openly keeps us from our better selves. what kind of people have we become? who do we want to be? who do i want to be? that is the question that i return to and ask myself on a daily basis.

what do i like about this work that i am doing? because it is hard physical work. i like that 98% of the people i work with, english is not their primary language. i get to hear other languages all day long. and not just the languages, the beautiful songs that they create, but i listen to the way they talk. it is not the same as english. the emphasis, the concerns, the history… the person i work with the most, when i don’t work by myself, speaks no english at all….and i love it. i love the way i have to really think about what i am saying and how…something i need to do better all day every day with every being i converse with. that and we work really well together, we laugh (mostly at me), and we actually communicate really well. [this is not just my ego and imagination. i found out that she is the one who requested to work with me on our busy days].

i have learned that many of the people i work with (pretty much all women), especially the one’s from jimaca, have families back “home” or working in some other part of the u.s. in the summer they go back to where their kids are. i know that at least one of them is a tour guide back home. most of the ones i work with have been coming back in the winters for the past 6 years. i am fascinated by this migration pattern. in many ways this is a major advantage to the mobile communication technology. one day i worked with one woman who talked with her mom back home for the 3 hours we were cleaning one condo.

speaking of beings i converse with…i have a 5-minute walk to work. every morning i pass the same person on a walk with a beautiful older dog (maybe a chocolate lab type canine), the dog and i recognize one another and run towards each other in excited greetings every morning…those 45 seconds are better than a cup of the best morning stimulating beverage. i smile the rest of the way to work looking at the sunrise reflected in the western mountains. not a bad way to start the day!

where are they now-an update

November 28, 2017Tagged adventure, adventures, amtrak, bike, biking, california, climate, climate change, desert, gender, midlife crisis, queer, queer vegan adventures, san diego, spiral diner, sunsets, surfing, swimming, train travel, veganLeave a comment

i totally and completely fell in love with baja: the place, the people, the ocean, and even the heat. however, the one thing that i thought i could work around was kind of my downfall. and by downfall, i don’t mean physical or health or any of those things that tend to end adventures. it was language.

you may be asking yourself, language? how could that be? you have talked at length about many of the conversations you have had.

yes, but you may notice that, with the exception of some american women, these have all been conversations with men. so my whole perspective thus has been by men. there were women present in the area of these conversations. many of them looking at me, smiling, nodding their heads, smiling some more. if i learned anything at all from all the strong-minded latinx folks i’ve met and have actually talked to throughout my life, those smiles and nods are not necessarily about agreement or consent or even a friendly acknowledgment of one’s acceptance in the social situation. in fact it could mean the exact opposite.

it was after i left the cool bike cafe south of rosarito that it hit me, and my desire and need to return to kansas via texas, emerged to give a slight glimpse in helping me make sense of it all…p.s. i’m still sorting that all out.

i’ve hinted that as i approached, crossed, and descended into mexico i got the sense that i should return to kansas. as this became more and more of an internal drive, i knew that i should go via texas and get my dad and his partner involved. all this time i still felt the pull to keep going south, just a little bit more. go at least to k58.

for a while, i thought that this was just because i needed to camp at least one night on the baja beach. and this was somewhat true. i needed a couple more nights in my tent and on the ground. and i am glad i did. but there is a moment i cannot get out of my mind.

at that super cool bike shop cafe with all those great conversations going on around me in spanish, there were two women there. one the girlfriend/wife maybe co-owner who was also definitely a biker too. the other the girlfriend/wife’s mother. the one who closes up when he goes to work in san diego for his night job.

the girlfriend/wife (sorry, he said one or the other but i can’t remember and maybe it doesn’t matter and i should just pick one because who cares, but i care and don’t want to just make something up. this woman seemed strong and independent and well i’m ashamed of missing this piece in my excitement of all the other things going on), and i had some friendly conversation. when everyone was shaking my hand and giving salutations, she joined in….she was certainly one-of-the-guys and wanted me to know it.

the mother….

she sat in the comfy chair in the corner. we made eye contact several times with smiles. i wanted to ask her so many questions…really i wanted to listen to whatever story she had to tell me, but i knew that english was not going to be the vehicle for that and if i wanted her story, it was going to have to be in spanish, and my spanish is just not that strong! curse words!

the final time i looked her in the eyes and smiled and thanked her for the hospitality, in spainsh, i knew that i would have to improve my skills and that i wouldn’t return until i did. could i continue on down the coast and make things happen? yes. i could have kept riding, gotten some side jobs to keep myself fed and nourished. most people spoke english where i went. even when i went to get coffee (instant with snagged sugar packets from the oxxo store it was in front of while closed) from the women setting up stands on the side of the road. we made it work, but i didn’t want to make it work. i was in their country and i wanted to know them better. i wanted to share stories and i’ve been able to do that, but i want to be better. i should and need to be better. i’m willing to fall back on english when i need to, but i need to be able to lead with spanish.

so as you know, i caught a ride back up to playas with that surfer, rode up to san diego. while there i stayed with my amazing friends again…. their hospitality goes way beyond anything i can imagine.

so while in san diego for the 2nd time i had an interesting experience….i’ll make a separate post for. but i had some fun and some insight on still being bothered by gay/lesbian mainstream culture.

so i stayed with my vegan/activist/writing friends then caught the train up to los angelas. hung out with the union station homeless folks until the train that would take me to ft. worth, tx arrived.

the days and the people who traveled with me to texas were fascinating. i met so many people in so many different situations, traveling for a wide range of reason…all of which also deserves another post of their own. but i arrived in texas. my dad picked me up. we dropped off my bike and bags and picked up his partner and headed off to a vegan diner. that is right! ft. worth has a vegan diner, and not just any old vegan diner, but a well-known one. it is the spiral diner. oh it was soooo good! we all got the meatloaf special with mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts!

i stayed with them for two weeks. we caught up. worked on one of the hardest puzzles i’ve ever tried, and we got their house sold so that they could move to new mexico and start their for realz retirement. i’m so excited for them. i also got to really have some great one-on-one conversations with the person my dad has been with for 30 years now. i’ve always thought the world of her, but we’ve never really had the time to have some deeper conversations. gosh she is great! i can’t wait till my bike adventures take me to las cruces, nm to visit them.

my dad then drove me up to wichita so that i can winter, save money, and plan some more adventures. i’m staying with my mom, catching up with my sister, trying to catch up with my niece and nephews who are growing up so fast, and into such amazing humans that i can’t believe we are related.

so here i am. in kansas. i place i never thought i would return to for more than a week. i’m trying to write. i joined the national novel writing month hoping to get more of a story done, but trying to find a job and catching up has thwarted some of my momentum…also i have very little discipline.

however, i am outlining the next phase of an adventure that i hope helps me bring together the multiple ideas i have for connecting all the parts of me: vegan, queer, a person concerned about what we are doing to this planet, an adventurer, food lover, pro-craft/antigentrifracation /artisianalism /hipster bullshit person. wish me luck….

in the meantime, i will try to tell some good stories.

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