starting the sharing 

seems funny that i have only been doing this for around 10 days now, but so much has happened, and also not much because well rain and wind and rain and rain. the oregon coast is rainy, i know, no shit it’s rainy! i was prepared, and yet somehow not. i’ve had so many great experiences already, and i’ve been cheating.

when we left of, i was at seaside taking a break. since then i have made my way down the coast and am lodged up in lincoln city; swapping out gear and drying out all the things. also, i promised my tent a break from those winds.

so the weather has been super craptastic, but i am not going to complain about the life force of water, however, it shifts logistics a little. so between that and realizing that the coast trail is freaking expensive, lots of road walking (hard on the body), and some of the northern parks are closed due to landslides, i’ve decided to take the amazing coastal shuttle/bus system. yes, i will happily pay you $4.50 for what would have coast me 40 to 50 bucks in boat shuttles that may or not have been happening due to the weather. plus, saving that money helped me get a salad and a pint while waiting for a connector bus.

i have to say, taking these buses has left a soft spot in my heart for the coastal communities i have been passing through. many people use this public transportation for many reasons. they know the bus driver’s name and the driver knows the passengers names. they don’t treat the people with special needs any differently. they are kind. they seem to watch out for each other. maybe this is a piece of what i am searching for.

i’ve already met so many nice people. i was at bill’s tavern in cannon beach after getting blown off the beach. me and my pack were soaked and we really hadn’t gone more than a mile. this woman sitting in the booth next to me asked to join me. we had a nice conversation that finally came around to my feelings about the book/movie wild. i know i’ve already written my feeling about it, i probably will some more. anyway, she had this look on her face that seemed pained as she asked the question. so i took a minute and responded in a way that surprised me.

i told her that we can’t really blam this book/movie on the increased traffic on delicate land. that maybe people are searching for something anything that helps them feel connected to something, and this has been a tool to help with that. i can’t really blame that book/movie on the increased use of the pct (a kind of gentrification of the trail systems) anymore than i can blame the influx of people to portland on the show portlandia (yes, i said that). people are searching for places that they can experience life differently, more fully perhaps? these forms of popular culture give insight into some options that maybe people haven’t thought of until this introduction.

she seemed relieved at my response. maybe she too is searching for something. i don’t know. she was very present and thoughtful. she reminded me of my dad’s wife. anyway, she came back later with a generous gift that helped me pay for an over-priced camp site that night.

a couple days later i met 2 super nice guys outside the coffee shop in manzinita. i figured with the money i saved from not paying for a boat shuttle, i could splurge on a cup of coffee and fresh o.j. we were sitting outside talking about the super sweet dogs and life. they are from portland, just quite their corporate jobs and are trying to decide what’s next. when i was explaining what i was doing, i started tot tear up for some reason (and actually am again as i write this) and i’m not sure why. sometimes you meet people who you can tell the story you’ve already been telling, but you get to be more vulnerable, maybe? i don’t know. i think i’m starting to let go of some of my own bullshit. i hope one day i find out what they decide is next for them.

then i finally got some forest hike in after i hide in the hiker/biker camp of cape lookout. geez how i love that park. it was super great! and super muddy! thank goodness for carson footwear. the mud may have sucked off my shoes, but those shoes kept me from sliding off the trail! when the tide kept me from crossing the lake, i had a long and sideways rain come down on me. my walking day ended up being around  9 hours and 15 miles. i did have a nice layover at the sand lake gas and shop! as i put my things on the counter, i saw the rebel flag sticker and some other very similar sticker on the counter and took a breath. but when she found out i was walking and not biking, she started telling me about the last person that came through there a few years back who was walking with a pot belly pig! we laughed. i sad on the porch ate some snacks and watched the rain.

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cape lookout!

 

when i finally rolled into pacific city to a super over-price hiker biker campsite, i was a little not grumpy, exhausted. road walking is exhausting and hard on the body! so i set up my tent and walked across the street for a cold beer and a basket of fries! and i met my first fellow vegans!!!! they were a super amazing couple with their own amazing story. we had such a nice chat. i look forward to meeting them again some where some time… and maybe get to see the tiny house they built!

so, to get back to where this post started with the idea that we are all looking for some kind of connection; community maybe or a tie to the nature… some combination of family, what’s another word for tribe, that binds us together in the ways that we have empathy and compassion and some other feeling that maybe has no word for all those around us: the 4 legged, the winged, the creepers and crawlers, the swimmers, the trees, the plants, water and air, and even us 2 legged animals. i think we can do this. we can do this, but it is going to take some not-working, some un-working?

anyway, i can’t wait to see who i talk to next. its hard to meet people on this trail…not a lot of people on it. i meet folks when i stop into towns and chat on the buses.

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cape lookout hiker/biker camp. my little home is in there somewhere!

seaside sideline

yup, so here i am in seaside at the international hostel. they give a discount for oct hikers! some of these folks have been on some great journeys. one guy, when i listen to him from the other room, reminds me of utah phillips! anyway, this morning it is pouring out and i am supposed to get back out there and climb up a muddy rainforest path. soooo i’ll have a hot cup of coffee first.

hostel greeting

yesterday i managed to cut some weight out of my pack, but i’m not sure how much further i can go. i did actually get rid of one of my drinking vessels, and for those of you who know how much i love to have my vessels you know how hard this was to do, and i’m contemplating switching another one out for something lighter. why i can get rid of all these major things in my life, but my vessels….whole other story. i think it goes back to my year of package free. i don’t want to use disposable bottles and cups.

anyway, so the adventure up to astoria, staying at sou’wester, then taking one more day and camping at ft. stevens was super exciting. the guys helped me do a couple of shakedowns, kept me calm when inside i was kind of freaking out about how much shit i still had/have, and bought me an afternoon beer to calm my nerves. they really are the best.

they took me to the mouth of the columbia river and the south jetty where the oct starts. we shared some hugs and tears (there really is no way to thank these two so much for, well not just the last couple days but all the years we have been building our relationships). then i was off!

friendly foot prints

it was a fine sunny sunday, and being a fine sunny easter sunday, i wasn’t sure just how crowded the beach would be. it was fine. i quickly put the hood up on my wind jacket over my cap to keep that southern wind from blowing it off and sand and wind out of my ears and set my pace. my pack is too fucking heavy.

i make it to the eroding ship that is 3.5 miles down the coast in pretty good time, so i stop and dump sand from my shoes and check my feet. all seems well. when i cross the parking  lot i spot 2 folks at the back of a pick-up tuck loading up a pack. huh! i didn’t think i’d actually see another backpacker out here. we wave. i would have stopped, but i thought they were just rearranging for camping, but at my next stop i saw one of them hiking right past me…that pack looked big and heavy!

rotting ship

 

the other thing i didn’t think i’d experience on this trail was people offering things. but not a few miles in and i had 2 offers and conversations about hiking and such. people were really into it.

when i stopped for dinner, i realized i was in a little trouble feet wise. i was not able to keep the sand out of my shoes and ended up with some serious blisters. i tried to clean them up, but the wind would blow sand into everything. i wanted to set up my tent, but camping isn’t permitted in the area, so i just tried to dig in out-of-the-way. also, i wasn’t just sure how high the high tide would be. yes, i have a fancy watch that has the current tide info, and a tide table, but just how high is 280′?

i was tired and frustrated (my stove/dinner blew over and spilt twice even though i had put of the wind screen and dug a little safe place for it. so i set up my tent with just the fly and groundsheet incase i got tossed out our the waves came up close, i could bail quickly. i placed things around me to keep the wind/sand at bay, set my watch alarm to about 1/2 hour before high tide (1:30 am) and rested. i woke up a few times to flashes of light. what could it be? not lightning!? nope. cars! they just don’t stop. i thought after sunset, they would go away, but no.

when the sun did set, the wind died down and i got some rest. my alarm went off. i check the ocean. it was far off like i had thought it should be and went back to sleep. but the stars…the night sky….wow! clouds and stars and the lights of ships off in the horizon were amazing!

all of a sudden i felt a huge blow and gust of wind and my shelter was trying to take flight! what the… as the sun started to break around 5:30, the wind also decided to rise, and rise it did. i packed up everything i could as fast as i could, using the weight of us all to hold down the shelter. i then broke down the shelter trying to keep it from becoming a parasail. i hungered down behind a log, swigged some water and started down the trail.

i was told that there was a little r.v. camping place with a general store at the end of the beach access road, so i head that direction. once i got out of the wind, i took a deep breath and sat behind the pit toilets for a minute to make sure everything was intact. all was good. feet where good. just needed water, so i headed up to find the r.v. park. it was early, like 6:30/7 am early and as i walked into the park, i thought oh boy, this is going to be interesting. this wasn’t really an r.v. park for travelers and campers. nope people lived here. the store was closed and as i looked around i saw all kinds of no trespassing signs with the names of the people who will call the cops. a sign on the door said where the bathrooms and portapottys were located, so i walked around a minute. as i rounded a corner there was this older guy putting coolant in the radiator of his truck. we looked at each other. i smiled. he smiled. mornin’. mornin’. you doin’ the pct? eventually. i’m on the oct right now. cool. great. whatch doin’ here? looking form some water. bathrooms should be open. great! thanks! take care. you too.

i headed into the bathrooms. one faucet leaked all over the floor instead of coming out of the tap. the second one was just fine! i drank up and filled up and headed down the trail.

the wind was something! i mostly kept my head down, but you know, they say never turn your back on the ocean, so every-once-in-awhile i looked up and over. oh one thing. before the sun had come up, i was able to hike without a headlamp. didn’t think much about it. no one was around, but then headlights! so i walked to the left of the headlights. then the car shifted heading right towards me, so i moved to the other side, and it moved! this went on for a bit. i was about to pull my headlamp out and flash it up at them when they finally moved to the far side but with their high-beams on! they then circled around me and started asking me questions. between the wind and the waves i said i couldn’t hear them. finally they headed off.

i knew i had to get 12 miles in to reach seaside where i was going to get a room at the hostel and shakedown again. my body was feeling great, but my feet! oh my golly! i wanted to chop them off. i couldn’t find a good place to care for the blisters that started forming, so i just kept trying to soak them in the cold ocean. i finally waddled into town where i still had about 4 miles to walk all the way across on concrete! oh that did not help! when i go to the hostel, the folks were so so so nice and chatted me up a storm…it was painful. all i wanted was to get out of these wet cloths (yes, it had started raining a couple of hours before), wash the sand out of all the cracks and crevices of my body, and sleep! finally after the tour, i dropped my pack on the floor, showered, and slept for hoooouuuuurrrrs, went to the brewery, came back and slept some more!

the morning was warm and sunny. i drank a nice cup of coffee on the porch but knew i could not walk on these feet, so i spent the day resting, reading, and tending to my feet. it was a super nice day! everyone here is so friendly! they ask your name and remember it! i highly recommend staying here.

today is going to be a challenge, but i think i only have to go around 7 miles to the hiker “cabins” at tillamook head in ecola state park, and once i am in the forest, the rain won’t be as bad, but i do have a 2 mile section that is straight up with a work-around a landslide from the winter storms. aaaand this is why i got good rain gear!

p.s. park is closed due to winter storms and landslides, soooo, new plans. at least it’s not snow!

 

countdown….ooooh….i start tomorrow

so i have ment to write so many posts leading the way from the last day of working, road trip to kansas and back, gear plans, and shakedowns. however, i did not do that. instead i spent a great deal of time getting rid of most of the things i own and hanging out with the people i won’t be seeing for a bit of time.

speaking of people i won’t see for some time…. i could NOT be doing this with out the support of so many people. i know i have said this before, but really, not one “are you fucking crazy?!” from anyone…at least not said to me.  so for real: all of you in the brunch and ping-pong club (and the ones who go but don’t like ping-pong), the co-workers who helped me get my schedule to where i could still work some and plan lots. hell, even the couple of co-workers who made my life hell and inspired me to start even earlier than i had planned. my good pals who have become like brothers to me, now sitting on either side of me here in astoria for one last night. the folks at the mercado who let us have one last gathering with all our friends from all over portland. the buddy who gave me two new tattoos to help me remember where home is no matter where i go. my friends who start so many conversations with “so i had this idea” that inspired me to come up with some of my own. the friends who showed me how to buck so many of the social graces that gives space for all of us to be true, honest, and present with each other and ourselves.  other friends who made the stickers for me (they came out sooo good so watch for them or check out my go fund me if you want one!). and then there is my family! no way could i ask for more love and support from my mom, sister, niece, nephews, brother-in-law, dad, aunts, and though they are not on this plane any longer i know i would have the grandparents right there.

as someone who has moved around a great deal, i have some theories about what it means to be in a place that gives you the self-awareness needed to take the great leaps in our lives. everywhere i have ever lived has provided this on some level, even kansas that was more of a kick in the seat of the pants to get the heck outta there. and thought portland is changing the way it looks and feels, it is full of people who celebrate the people who go beyond walking to the beat of a different drummer, but to those who hear and make totally different music and move to that music in their own ways.

as i sit here on the eve of the day i will start walking, i know i go with all of those folks with me, not behind me, not leading the way, but all around me. thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough, so just know i promise, no matter what happens, to bring back some stories.

i have also had the great fortune of finding some amazing gear made by real people that i talked to… including my shoes (yes, i have shoes that are amazing and i know exactly who sewed them) and i will be doing a separate post! but for now, today and tonight, i will be doing at least 2 more shakedowns, drinking some ft. george beers, and hanging out at sou’wester. tomorrow i will get dropped off at ft. stevens state park to start walking along the oct.

whoa! time moves so fast

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i’ve been meaning to put up so many updates about the planning and prep going on here, but then stuff happens and changes so quickly, and well, geez….

first, just let me say, all the support i have been getting from friends and family has been astounding! so much! not one person has had a single negative or discouraging thing to say about this little walk. i can not say enough how much this means to me! there are so many things to get overwhelmed with in this planning process, and to know that i don’t have to defend this decision is fantastic. also, this might be where living a queer life has its advantages. i’ve already come out so many times in ways that i don’t fit the prescribed rolls or social norms, so maybe the people in my life are getting use to these things from me. also, i’ve surrounded myself with some of the best people around. i couldn’t ask for better folks.

i will eventually get into some of the most common questions in a future post (probably later this week), but here is the latest timeline for those keeping track at home (yes, its moved up…again, and yes, i know how high the snow levels are…188% snow levels in the sierra’s!).

my last day of work is now march 14th! whoa! i have like 5 shifts left and no more pay checks or closing shifts! however, i did start a go fund me (the big walk)

our last day in our little house is march 31st! no address! and everything (and i do mean everything) must go!

leave for family visit april 1st! party and colorado play time!

back to portland april 14! meet for beer and burritos after dropping off the rental car.

astoria april 14 and 15! hell ya! fort gorge brewery, blue scorcher bakery, little coastal hikes to big giant spruce trees with friends!

april 15 start walking! holy shit!

so there you have it! up dated time line. i will be posting why i’m starting with the oregon cost trail, why i’m leaving earlier, and what the big questions are from why to whatcha’ takin’ with ya’?

wow! i better get to it!

 

 

wow! wow! wallowa mountains

for years i have been hearing about the grandeur of the wallowa mountains in the eagle cap wilderness in eastern oregon. to be honest, i had no idea what the heck people were talking about. the cascade range is super evident. the mountains (aka volcanic peaks) that surround me here are obvious. but i have driven where the wallowas lay across the land, and have never seen them, or i had seen some snow-covered tips, but… really? isn’t it just dry farm land?

we all went about our morning routines in our own paces. we exchanged gear relevent to our trips. they went to drop the bike tour friend to their starting point while i went to the trail head (and still trying to find a map). i filled up my favorite mug with some hot coffee and walked around the trail head area. the land already felt special in ways that seemed familiar while completely unknown.

we had picked a loop that would take us around the lake basin and over a couple of passes. many people do the lake basin loop, but go the opposite way and not as far east as we had chosen. when my friend arrived, we put on our packs, took pictures of important parts of the backpacking book, since we could not find a map anywhere (!) and headed up the trail….literally straight up!

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we found a comfortable pace and set into a nice conversation. i realized i have this thing that i do when i’m on climb, i like to look back and see how quickly i’ve climbed so high relative to where i had started. for some reason it takes the view ahead of how much further i have to go seem “well look what i have already done, so of course i can do this” but also, the higher we got, the more amazing views we had of wallowa lake (where we started the morning). once we to the last view-point of the lake before taking a turn that would leave the lake and all that has happened leading to this adventure behind us, we could see this line. its a line that marks the end of lush forest to dry arid farmland. its such a distinct line from up above, even though i had moved slowly through the lines and could see the effects of the changing landscape… its like if you have ever gone up and walked a clear-cut. you feel the heat radiating off the bare-naked land. can feel the sun cooking the once nutrient dense soil. then you walk into what is left of the forest and see just how deep the effects of that clear-cut goes…at least as much as my above-ground eyes can see.

i gave pause at this as i made that turn. something caught in my chest that i wouldn’t understand until later.

we rounded the turn and came to a little place, like a pond along the river we were following and took a little break. it was so peaceful. as we chatted, both of us wondering what and where we would want to go as portland is becoming harder and harder to live creatively in, when we see this shack across the stream. there is this water divergent pump station here with a bridge that leads over there (naturally (?) there is a locked gate with warning signs about crossing. but our imaginations cross anyway. we both agree. living in such a place would totally be doable! it’s just the right size! we could do this thing over there, and so and so could do their thing and…. seems fences can’t keep out the dream. meanwhile, there were these super cute little birds diving into the depths of the pond to feed and entertain us (pretty sure the entertainment was a side effect).

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when we got to roger lake, just before anoroid lake, we had a little lunch. here is where we saw the first people since we took off (ok maybe we saw some others, but not many and we were talking so that didn’t count) it was a group of women and we all just sort of waved to one another in an acknowledgment of wow women hiking with no men to show them the way! (well ok that is what i was thinking). we were both tired, but feeling good. if we camped at anoroid lake (which for some reason, i’m a lazy reader, i kept calling android lake) it was going to be a short mileage day. so when we got to r2d2 lake, we decided to keep going. we were sure that there was another lake close by and some streams for water when we looked at the book’s map (why the hell could we not find a map to buy before we left!)…so we decided to keep going for the day…but then we had to keep going…and going…and then we were over tenderfoot pass and the wind hit us like crazy and because once on top we just stayed up, there was no stopping it.

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we finally came around the corner to the saddle the wind was whipping through, not that it slowed it down, but we did see a solo packer setting up a tent… a really big tent for one person and her dog. so here is where we decided we would find a place to set up camp for the night. there was no water and we just had enough to get us to the stream at the other side of the pass we would have to climb in the morning… dry snack dinner it was.

it was getting cold and the wind maybe was a little calmer where we set up behind a bluff. we pitched our tents with our doors facing each other (we used both of the single person tents i have which have side facing doors (why do people use front facing doors?) so we snuggle into our respective sleeping vessels and chatted up the night. as the sun went down so did the wind and the night was moon filled and peaceful!

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we woke to frost everywhere! but the sun quickly came over the ridge and warmed up and all the things. water bottles were frozen so we had a dry breakfast and packed up and went in search of the trail to polaris pass that would take us into the lakes basin.

it was a climb, but the trail was a gentle climb. with views that were incredible and we were able to warm up quickly. when we got to the top of the pass, we could see how people would follow the ridge lines to the tops of peaks, we could see the trails at the bottom and all the directions and pockets with cute lakes and trees. this pass was warm and gentle and quiet… we had a long break up here….and then we started down and

down

and

down

and

down.

one reason that i was given for not being able to buy a map at one of the mt shops i frequent, is that they only carry green trails maps and since the trail systems here are incomplete or not frequently maintained, there aren’t green trails maps…. i thought about this for a minute. then i thought about some books that described hikes in this area and that for many reasons, the trails aren’t maintained much. this all rattled in my brain for a moment as i looked down at what could be construed as a trial through the scree (a shear side of a ridge where sometimes there is a slight flattened area where the rocks are to be walked upon) and wondered “how the hell would one even begin to maintain such a trail?” {a couple of days later we ran into a ranger who was doing trail maintenance and said as much to him. his response was he wondered the same but more so how do you even cut such a trail in the first place…yup!} my mind went staggeringly along as i decided that yes, i must find a way to do work with local groups as i pass through communities, and do some trail maintenence  while i’m on by big walk.

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the kinds of signs we had to go by…this was a good one

we went through some amazing places in our downward descent, but couldn’t look unless we stopped our perpetually moving forward bodies for fear of falling victim to the strong gravitational forces, however, we did run into 2 really nice women who were going the opposite direction as us. they were actually counting the switchbacks and let us know where we were in relation to those numbers… i can never keep track of such information, but soon i could see then hear the water from the stream that we were waiting for, and ooooh! what a waterfall stream it was! i kicked off my shoes, filled up all my water vessels and sat the fuck down! it was amazing. the water was cold and crisp and sweet… i have some addictions for sure, but my main addiction is for wild water, untreated, unfiltered, and straight into my mouth! i cupped my hands and drank.

we sat here for a spell. had a snack or two.

from here it wasn’t far to frazier lake and then the full on lakes basin. we had decided that we would camp at frazier, then horseshoe lake, and then head out. this would give us the time to see the things, take our time and have enjoyable nights and afternoons at the lakes. we wanted to enjoy and experience with out being rushed… some friends were getting married at the end of the adventure and wanted to get back in time for some celebrations.

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i don’t know how to talk about the rest of the trip.

the land is magical

the lakes are pristine

all of this should be experienced for one’s self

we learned about the cut-offs and connections that could make for shorter or longer trips to see this and be in this landscape.

what i can say is that view you see in countless oregon hiking and backpacking books of glacier lake will never ever do it justice, not even the one that i have here!

but what i can say is that i sat there in awe with tears in my eyes at the wonder i could see and smell and feel and taste. that the quiet i let settle into my body and mind, was to prepare me to be here in this place now! to not miss a reflection of mountain and tree in the water, or the ripple of a fish jumping, or the tiniest of tiny frogs huddled together at the edge of a lake.

i can tell you that i know there are people who came before us (white people of european descent) who cared for (and still do) this land. and again i had this feeling that i was forgetting something that i should remember.

this feeling happened everywhere….glacier pass, moccasin lakes, following the wallowa river,at the top of a pass, and when we returned to the lake to meet our other friend.

that last night, when we had all gathered back at the brewery for some fresh greens and hops, i took my time getting back to camp. i knew i was missing something, some important piece of all this.

the next morning they took off for a hike before their return to portland. i took my time packing up and trying to decide where to go and what to do next before i had to be back myself. i don’t do weddings so much, but i wanted to celebrate with them at the after party (aka reception).

i stopped at the turn off for old chief joseph’s grave site, got out of the car and read the plaque. i have read many of the stories of this leader, and his son, chief joseph, of a people during a horrible moment (of many) in the history of this colonized country. i walked up to his gravesite (that had to be moved from the summer gathering place of his people because it had been robbed twice – what is wrong with people), and my eyes filled with tears. joseph isn’t just a random name given to this town. it is named after old chief joseph of the wallowa  band of the Niimiipuu [Nee-Me-Poo] (commonly called the Nez Perce and his people the “non-treaty” nez perce since they refused to sign a treaty that would relinquish more than 5 million acres of land.

the stories i had read of the leaders of these people, of trying to escape the violence, and of fighting fiercely for their way of living, of not leaving behind anyone…well reflect on what is happening in standing rock as i write this. who is fighting for what and why…what do we, as people, stand to lose if the military/corporations win… what way of life have we already loss and who has gained from that…

when i left here, i went to the forest service office, that i found after turning too early to go to lunch, and i found a vending machine full of maps… what the…

i also found a couple of nice forest rangers who talked me up a bit as they told their story of how they are trying to work with the different interest groups to protect and care for this land as opposed to what has happened in other parts of the state.

i’m in love with this area. i hope to make it back after the snows return to the peaks this winter as well as find a way to walk through this land again.

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vacation interlude

leaving heart mountain antelope refuge (on the first day of hunting season) the deep quiet had settled into my whole being, yet i was so tense waiting all morning for the sound of shotguns. i kept my eyes out and kept repeating a little antalope mantra for them to be safe, hide… then i noticed the signs that said no hunting. my breathing returned and i hoped that these beautiful beings found safe grazing. soon i found something in the middle of the road.img_1916

i got out of the car and watched the pair continue grazing and watching me, the quiet and solitude sinking deeper still in me. would this sinking have no end?

eventually i turned onto paved road and came to the town of frenchglenn. i read about some of the history of this place and wasn’t sure what i would find this day…friend or shotgun. i pulled into the little market next to the hotel to get some gas. “we” are not supposed to pump our own gas here in oregon, so i went in to ask how i was to go about filling up. the person was a little gruff with “get your gas your self and tell me how much it came to”. i did not expect to get a bit excited about the prospect of using this old analog style of pump and getting to do it myself. when went i went back in to pay for it and a bag of chips the person was super nice as i paid with cash! wow! we all got a little happy with a return to simple cash and gas pumping. the pace of this land and lack of electronic devices or even a signal to use a device was settling deep in my conscience. with the exception of being in a car, i felt like i had shrugged off the pace of a city folk.

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i tried to hang out at malheur national wildlife refuge, but it felt kinda funny and i had to turn around and leave as quickly as i entered the area. yes this is where the big stand-off was early this year. (i found out after returning to portland that there had been a bomb threat the timeframe i was there). so i headed straight for my next hot springs with only a couple of detours in burns and crane and readied myself for meeting up with my friends and having a little adventure in the high country.

i spent most of my time at crystal crane hot springs sorting food and organizing my main pack for backpacking…well between soaks in the little hot spring of a lake. this is a funny little place, but so worth the venture, even if its to knock the desert dust off and actually cook a meal in the camp kitchen.

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in the morning i met some funny folks around the coffee pot and pep talked myself for a stint on the freeway. as i moved through this shifting ecology, i noticed something in me shifting and breaking loose. i teared up as i took the bends in the road and witnessed the expanse of land, or river, or colors. i felt so open and vulnerable and alive…and i hadn’t even put on the pack yet!

as i moved closer to meeting my friends in enterprise, specifically terminal gravity brewing, i wondered if i was fit for company, fit to do this hike (all of which is considered strenuous). would i even be able to form complete sentences with my super amazing friends.

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i arrived a bit before them. had a beer in the warm sunshine, put my feet in the little creek that runs through the picnic table area, and quickly fell in love with this brewery. it is my all time favorite so far in my life (and i have been to a great many breweries). it’s not just the really good beer that they craft, nor the friendly folks working there, the food was better than average (brewery food is not always the best unless you trying to reload calories), the running water in the middle of the seating is a huge perk, but mostly it is the feeling of sitting on the front porch of a friend’s house while sharing a good moment. and the views of the wallowas….well i hope to go back very soon when the peaks are snow-covered and the sunny air is crisp and sharp. enterprise and joseph are 2 oregon towns that helped fill that small mountain town feeling that i have been searching for all year. already i was looking at the map and trying to figure out how i was going to be able to walk here.

my friends showed up right on time.aka, i had my senses gathered and was excited to see them; two of the most beautiful humans i know and i get to backpack with one while the other goes on a bike adventure on their own.

soon enough, i follow them to the campgrounds at the far end of wallowa lake. we set up camp, make a fire, and watch the stars come out all while catching up and thinking about all our options (also, a little of trying to convince the biking friend to hike with us).

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after toasting some vegan marshmallows (i’ve learned the secret is to let them get just a little stale, and then they roast up perfect!), they wander off to their tent while i bask in the glow of what is left of the fire mixed with the warmth of good friends. i snuggle into my tent and sleeping bag, excited to, finally, get the legs stretched out on the trail.

finding peace in the desert

it was so hard to figure out where i wanted to go on my vacation. so many options. i wanted to see some people and also experience so many different wilderness spots that to fit as much in without feeling rushed or unable to be present with the people and places i would be able to see…well it was a tough decision.

luckily one of the people i was hoping to catch up with had limited availability before they left for their own amazing adventure, so a direction was chosen. i headed off to bend to meet them for some beers and dinner.

i should back up just a bit. because i work in customer service, i usually try to make my vacations after labor day. but some of the places i wanted to go are in the direct route of folks returning from burning man (many hot springs are often closed due to e-coli outbreaks after burners stop by on their way back from their weekend at burning man), i made some strategic moves and decided to go to some places that i was sure they would not hit (i also received wonderful advice from a friend who spends a great amount of time in the desert hot springs and i have enormous amounts of gratitude for their sharing of info). so i skipped summer lake, bagby, paulina, and cougar hot springs, and decided on a couple a little more remote…so worth it! not a single burner at any of the places i went once i got past bend.

the journey over mt. hood and into the desert was beautiful. the portland morning was cool and cloudy, so the blue skies and warm sun on the other side of the pass was a wonderful welcome. i pulled over at a little spot by the deschutes river before i entered bend. it was refreshing to splash in this beautiful river for a minute before going back into a city.

i arrived at our meeting place a little early and was able to have a moment to relax into being away from portland, work, and some other stressors. we had a nice visit, drove into sisters,  picked up some more conversation inspirational snacks and stayed up late talking.

the morning arrived and i headed out after a stop for an amazing brunch back in bend, grabbed some growlers of exceptional beers from boneyard brewery and headed off to heart mountain. the drive was very cathartic. i was able to listen to some of my favorite tunes and sing (loudly) along. yet, the closer i got to heart mountain and the deeper i got into the desert, the more the sunshine penetrated my being, the more i felt the quiet and the peacefulness come over me….i turned off the music and podcasts and embraced the silence, well i actually embraced the way the air moved through the open windows of the car.

i set up camp, poured a cold beer and went for a walk. there were a number of people at the camp grounds, but no one seemed to really be heading to the hot springs. i was a little confused. as the evening turned to dusk, i walked over to the main hot springs, spotting a few antelope watching me as they grazed, and found out what everyone else was doing there.

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i met a guy from australia who was riding his motorcycle from canada to l.a. he was camping down where more people were (i chose the loner site kind of up on a hill where i could see what was happening around me…alone). he said that they were mostly hunters and that antelope season was starting in a couple of days (the day i was scheduled to leave). i am still baffled that here, an antelope refuge, there would be hunting….to control the population. i’m sorry, but i don’t understand why an agency would protect some wildlife so that they could be killed. anyway, soon i was alone in the spring and enjoyed a wonderful soak.

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the next day i went and had another soak to warm up a bit. the night had gotten fairly cold, especially since i didn’t put the fly on my tent so that i could watch the moon pass and the stars twinkle – one of the many reasons i enjoy my times in deserts. it got cold enough that the water in my water bottle froze, but i slept great in my warm sleeping bag.

after a soak and some breakfast, i headed out for a hike. i decided to follow the path that leads to the camp sites over the bridge. lots of campers and r.vs. and lots of american flags….right i’m in central oregon! anyway, i had a peaceful walk up to the top of a ridgeline where i had an amazing view of the landscape and saw some wonderful wildlife.

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there were views that could just as easily have been in the flint hills of kansas and it got me to thinking about how lush that land in kansas can be and how it has become more and more arid, looking more like this desert and less like farmland or tall grass prairie.

i ran into some of the hunters while i was out here walking. i had forgotten that the t-shirt i was wearing was from food fight with a bunch of lab animals attacking a guy that looks a great deal like a hunter.ha!  these men couldn’t believe i was out walking let alone walking alone. most of them were on 4-wheelers scoping out places to hunt the next day. one guy said it was good to see someone walking “you don’t see that much any more”.  if he only knew my plan! when i stopped to have a snack, i watched some eagles soaring overhead, some deer came down to graze, and antelope roaming around. when i looked down, i spotted an eagle feather by my shoe. i just stared at it for the longest time, not sure what would happen if i touched such a sacred item. turns out, i won’t spontaneously implode, but it was a spectacular feeling as i held it for just a second before putting it back right where i found it.

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my days here went like this: soaking, eating, walking, soaking…. until i could finally feel the city fall away from me as the desert dust entered every pore on my body and the water filled my cells. when i was finally able to pull myself away to begin the next segment of my trip, i could feel the silence vibrate threw me and i began to feel at peace….maybe that is why i was moved to tears so much on my way to meet my friends in enterprise, and again through out our hike. i was at peace for the first time in a very long time. this is why i love it out “here”.

i am going to go for a walk

 

i’ve always wondered how it felt, those  people who have always known  what they wanted to do when they grew up.  i have never known that feeling. the closest i have ever gotten to that was when i would go out to where i could see the huge horizon of kansas and just want to start walking. that is almost all i ever want to do actually is walk. i love riding my bike. i’ve enjoyed skateboarding, scooters, motorcycles, cars and trucks. i also really enjoy sitting, laying down, running (sometimes)… but the one thing you can almost always get me to do anytime, anywhere, is go for a walk. a short walk. a long walk. walk to a cup of coffee. walk to dinner. an after dinner walk. doesn’t matter. i just love to walk. and then sometime in june, it hit me, when i grow up i am supposed to walk.

but when should i start? it’s not like i have a date to register for the fall term or something. and i will need to prepare, and rid myself of a few possessions. so sometime after i turn 50 (jan of 2018), when i feel that the weather will be mostly in my favor, i will put on my pack and start walking around the country. not across on the roads most people take, but around and through on the trail systems. sure i’ll have to use real roads sometimes for resupply and see friends and share beers…[this timeline has been moved up to may/june of 2017 see why wait for more information]

i think my plan will most likely take me 5 years or more, but i am going to start with a two-year plan. i don’t want to be in a rush. i want to stop and really get to know an area when i feel like it. i don’t want to  have to make a certain set mileage to achieve every day… of course weather and winter will come into play and i’m still trying to figure that one out. maybe i’ll try to be in the south by the time the cold hits, or maybe hole up in a ski town and work for the season before heading back out. we’ll see how things go and which directions i feel like going in.

i do have some basic ideas on routes i want to take and how i want to do them. i have a giant map on our wall with outlines of where some major thru hikes run and seeing where some of the big ones connect. i will probably start marking where the co-ops are in relation to the trails and work on how to get food when i’m out and about.

one big thought i’ve had is that i want to work with smaller cottage companies that make gear in the regions i’ll be exploring that season. i figure i’ll be going through things since i’ll be living in a tent, sleeping bag and out of a back pack. so maybe i can work with some companies doing good work and interesting designs…and shoes.

i also need to get back in shape, learn some new skills, talk to people about good medicine to have on hand, how i want to share these adventures, what kind of technology will i need, how will i get maps (are there map exchanges), and food.

so i have a year and a half to prepare, a little more actually, but anytime after jan 2018 it could begin. so i will be keeping people updated on my progress, things i learn, epic failures as i learn is inevitable, and i will spend this time getting rid of pretty much everything in my life.

i am kicking around the idea of some kind of social funding project. some folks have already asked how they can help facilitate this venture, but i would like to also be creative in this area. i would very much like people to join me for a bit somewhere… buy me a beer and walk with me for a couple of days… send me your favorite vegan trail food when i am in the next town, or just contribute some bucks to keep me going. i figure i will have to stop and work from time to time, but hopefully not that first year or two. also, maybe i can make a few buck with the telling of some stories… we’ll see. i’ve got some time to figure it out, and then so much will be changed and shifted i’m sure as i go along.

there are many thoughts that have come up for me since i starting thinking about this and talking to people about it, and i hope to be writing about them more. like why i love being outside, and how much i love to explore places and get to know the people who know those places. and as i was thinking and talking and reading, i came across a chapter in the book Children of the Days by Eduardo Galeano (one of my super favorite poetic historians). the story is called The Pleasure of Going. it is set in 1887 in Salta and tells of “Juan Carlos Dàvalos, founder of a dynasty of musicians and poets.” the story goes like this:

…he was the first to drive a Model T, the “Ford with a moustache,” in those parts of northern Argentina.

His Model T snorted and smoked as its wheels rolled forward.

It moseyed down the road. Turtles stopped to wait for it.

A neighbor came up to him, greeted him with a worried face, commented, “But Mr. Dàvalos…at this pace, you’ll never get there.”

The driver responded, “I don’t travel to get. I travel to go”

and so shall i.